For The Love of the Game

Think about the first time your daughter asked to play softball.  If your daughter was like mine; she was more interested in wearing the uniform and getting it dirty sliding onto the field.  And that was before the game even started.  My daughter didn’t know how to hold the bat correctly, and even put her glove on the wrong hand.  At the end of the first game she played, the final score didn’t matter.  As a matter of fact, my daughter didn’t even know if she won or lost.

Now fast forward a couple of years to the world of competitive select softball.  This is where every game is close, and winning and losing determines whether you continue to play longer into the day and nights of the tournament.  The girls have grown up, and understand that sometimes giving your best doesn’t always produce the results they hope for at the end of the game.  They experience high pressure situations and sometimes they fail and other times they succeed.

Although, I love the team she plays for and have a strong admiration of the parents and fans for her organization; I cannot always say the same for some of the teams she plays against.  You see, there are many parents (both dads and moms alike) on other teams that show just how classless they really are.  I have seen coaches and parents on the other side of the field degrade our players.  As a matter of fact, I am thinking about a couple of instances right now and am obliged to share these stories with you before I finish writing this blog.

On one occasion, our pitcher had just given up a couple of hits for the first time in the game.  Our team had committed a couple of errors in the same inning and the bases were loaded.  Needless to say, the occasion was placing a high level of pressure on our team.  The fans of the other team as well as the coaches would have thought it was Game 7 of the World Series.  They were screaming and hollering trying to get into the heads of our girls.  By the way, did I mention the girls are 10 years old?  We lost that game, but after watching how those softball fans on the other side acted; we won the game of life because of the class we showed on and off the field.  You see, our girls have forgotten about that game because it was just that…A GAME.  As a testament to our coaches, parents and fans they did learn how one should act, and observing the other side, how you look when you act like a fool.

Another instance was a fan from another team thought it would be cute to steal the pitching signs of our coach and tell his daughter’s teammates what pitch our 10 year old pitcher would be throwing to them.  Although this is common in major league sports when you are paid to win; I personally didn’t think it had a place in youth sports.  He obviously thought it was giving his girls an advantage, and some might think he had money on the game.  Now, their team was still no-hit that day and we won 2-0; however, what message was he sending his daughter and what message was the coach sending as they condoned the actions.  In reality parents, fans and coaches of those youth teams are doing their own daughters a disservice in life.  Do you remember the song, “Cats in the Cradle”…Your daughters will grow up just like you!

Just recently, I was sent a screenshot of a parent that was upset by how my daughter’s team was getting recognition from their fans on Facebook.  Instead of being happy for his own daughter’s team successes he took to a national softball forum and started to badmouth players and parents on our team.  Yes, you are reading this right.  A grown man (and women on the forum) were so pathetically lacking something in their own life that they had to try to tell anyone who was desperate enough to listen that my daughter’s team should not be happy or enjoy their successes on the field.  These weak minded individuals somehow forgot (I hope they forgot) that they were talking about 10-year-old softball players, and like the old classroom bullies who tried to tear down someone else for an intangible gain of self-worth.  This is probably the same guy that is upset because his high school letter jacket that he got for being on varsity his senior year doesn’t fit anymore.

Now that I digress…I feel compelled to share why I love watching my daughter play competitive softball at an elite level.  It definitely isn’t for those few cases I mentioned above.  And I want readers to understand, that all fans and parents are not this classless at this level.  There are great experiences to be had, and I look forward to my daughter experiencing more rewards as the years of softball continue.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, I asked my daughter who her best friend was in school.  She quickly shared with me, “My softball team!”  And she didn’t just stop there.  She shared funny stories between games of climbing trees, having caterpillar races (yes real caterpillars racing down a sidewalk), and their favorite chants they make up in the dugout.  She loves to stay in the same hotel with her teammates and eat breakfast and dinner with them and their families.

Did you notice anything in that last paragraph?  She didn’t say anything about the game of softball.  Now, she loves softball.  We practice every day and play more games in a month than most will play in all of their youth.  She has had many highs on the field and experienced disappointments as well.  She has done all of this with her team.  These girls have created a bond and will continue to grow stronger as the years go on.  Most of these girls will not be attending the same high school together because they live in different towns.  They will soon go different directions in life and some may not continue to play softball at some point.  However, they are building lifelong friendships and loving to play the game as a team.

We as parents, coaches and fans are teaching our girls something every time we open our mouth, write something on social media, and how we conduct ourselves in a competitive environment.  I wish I could say, I have always acted appropriate; but I will say this.  My daughter and her team has taught me something pretty valuable this season.  They play for the Love of the Game and what it has to offer.

The game isn’t just about winning or losing.  It is so much more.  It is about how you conduct yourself on and off the field.  It’s about how you make other people feel (whether you win or lose).  It is about the respect you show to your coaches, teammates, and parents of your teammates.  It’s about letting the last game go and enjoying the opportunity of today.

Sure, my daughter and her team has a goal of winning the 2015 ASA/USA National Championship this year in Normal, Illinois.  This is something very important to them and they are working very hard to achieve this lofty goal.  However, when it is all over; what will they really win?  A trophy or ring to put into their overcrowded trophy case.  A t-shirt that says I am a champion that they will soon outgrow.  Does winning at all cost at 10-years old really matter?  To some, like the three examples I listed, the answer is a resounding yes.  For this parent, my win (or rather my daughter’s win) will be when I help her grow into a strong confident woman who doesn’t need a trophy to say how great she is.  My win today is that she is healthy enough to play a game she enjoys and safely leaves the field after the game is over.  Our teams win is the strength of our softball family and the friendships we build lasting a lifetime.

My daughter and her teammates play for the Love of the Game and all that it has to offer.

For more information about the 04 Texas Travelers contact Coach Kyle Bennett at 972.679.7702 or follow The Texas Travelers on Facebook.  The Texas Travelers are a 10 U 2004 team that plays ASA competitive softball.  To follow particular players, games, practices or see any other information about the North Texas Select Softball team visit: 04 Texas Travelers News Site.

Life isn’t fair so why do you expect Softball to be?

Recently I had a discussion on one of my trips from Houston back to Dallas, Texas.  Now this discussion was with a colleague of mine who has also coached select softball at a high level.  He proposed a question and asked, “What are your feelings on ‘Daddy Ball’?”  I stated emphatically that “Daddy Ball” ruins the game, and can hurt players.  In a past blog, I wrote how my daughter’s introduction into select softball was a terrible experience as we were exposed to “Daddy Ball”.  My colleague, known for being opinionated, made the statement “How did that hurt your daughter?”  He stated that the experience she went through actually helped her.  Five hours later, he convinced me that “Daddy Ball” wasn't a bad thing.  Yes, you heard that right.  “Daddy Ball” is actually great for girls’ softball.

OK, now that I have you steaming mad right now or completely dismissive of this blog, let me try to explain the points my colleague was making that convinced me.

First, let’s look at life itself.  Have you ever been passed over a promotion in a job or felt unappreciated with the work you do by your boss?  We all have at one time or another.  Have you ever been pulled over and given a speeding ticket while the car who was going the same speed got a free pass?  Or think about when you were in high school, and the person in front of the fast food line got a discounted meal because he knew the person behind the counter and you received minimal portions at full price!  We all have stated, some people have all the luck…right?  Life just isn’t fair.

Is life really not fair?  Maybe that promotion in the job would have given you more money, but what kind of stress would have been added to you.  Maybe that ticket saved your life as you remember to slow down the next time you went through the speed trap.  Maybe the extra food you wanted kept you from having a heart attack by the time you turn 40.  It all comes down to perspective.

Second, who is responsible for the growth of youth sports?  We are going to focus on softball, but this blog pertains to all of youth sports.  Let’s look at the teams itself.  Who coaches the teams 9 out of 10 times?  Usually the dad (moms are starting to coach more often) of one of the players.  

So let’s take a deeper look at the commitment a dad makes to the team.  The dad is usually someone who played sports in high school and maybe in college.  His skillset is that of someone who loves sports and likes coaching kids.  If we are lucky, he knows the game he is coaching.  He has a fulltime job that pays his family’s mortgage and puts food on the table.  (He spends about 40-60 hours a week in that job).  He spends 2-4 hours a week at practice with your kids.  He spends another hour or more if committed analyzing competition during the week.  He spends another hour a week studying the game so he can motivate and coach the girls on the field.  For tournament teams, the dad will spend another 6-8 hours at the field for Pool Play Games, and then average 4-6 hours for Sunday Bracket Games.  At a minimum the Dad, I mean the coach, will give an extra 14-22 hours a week to the team.  For most coaches, there is no payment, no discounted cost for their daughter to play, and when losses happen; all too often he hears how he could have had a better game plan.  (As an assistant coach for a top select softball team I absolutely love all of the girls on the team that my daughter plays for.  However, there is one girl on the team that I love the most and the longest.  Yes, it is my daughter.)  Coaches in essence are working a part-time job with no pay.  There only form of payment is they are getting to spend 20 hours a week of quality time with their daughter and the sport they love to play.  Without these coaches, where would your daughter be today?

If you were the reader who said, “Yes but…” Let me interrupt your train of thought really quick.  Anybody can put together a team and coach.  So, if you want to coach and make all of the decisions, by all means do it.  Make sure you commit to listening to unhappy parents, understand feelings of young girls, put together a game plan, schedule practices, be at practices and games early, and understand that your 20 hours of extra time with your daughter will be interrupted with additional attention to 10 other girls.

So we as parents have put a negative connotation on the term “Daddy Ball”.  

I completely understand why.  I described my daughter’s first experience with a select softball team to my colleague this way as well.  She wanted to pitch.  The head coach told the team that anyone wanting to pitch for the Fall Season had to take pitching lessons.  She did.  She was never given an opportunity to take the mound during the whole Fall Season.  By the way, that team lost every game without even coming close to a victory.  However, the four players that received some mound time during the 20 game season were coaches’ daughters.  I felt that was an injustice to my daughter not getting to have the opportunity to pitch for that team.

His simple answer was, “It doesn’t look like it hurt her.” (My daughter is now the starting pitcher for a great select softball team that looks to her to deliver excellent results.)  During this five hour drive, I said, “OK, but I took the time to work with her.  I kept taking her to pitching lessons.  I motivated her when she was down and helped teach her the nuances of the game.”  He replied, “So that experience helped her develop into what she is becoming today?”

I’m pretty thick headed!  Just ask my wife if you don’t believe me.  I hate losing an argument, so I turned my focus on other girls.  I then said, “Well, let’s take my daughter out of it.  There were three other girls on the team that didn’t get a lot of playing time.  They usually found themselves on the bench and playing the outfield when the game became out of reach.” I argued, “Out of the four coaches, their daughters played catcher, shortstop, third base and pitcher.  They never moved off of the infield.  As a matter of fact, the best friend of one of the coaches’ daughters played second base.”  So he then asked me “what are they doing now” referring to the coaches’ daughters.  I told him that all of them except one are out of softball.  The one that is still playing is playing rec ball and nobody really hears about her anymore.  I started to understand what he was saying, but he wasn’t satisfied with his point.  He asked, “And what about the three girls that were sitting the bench or not getting significant playing time?”  The point was made.  I said, “They are all playing for select teams and doing quite well in softball.”

So I had a new perspective on “Daddy Ball.”  It isn’t all that bad of a term.  We have made a bad word out of “Daddy Ball”.  I’m not saying it is right to play favorites.  I’m not saying it is right to hurt a girl’s confidence.  However, we should embrace the fact that a Dad (or mom) has agreed to take the time to coach our kids.  The coach has to make 11 different individual decisions (each girl) for the good of the team.  Also, when an injustice occurs or we think has occurred due to playing time; we should look at it as an opportunity to correlate the situation with what life will throw at us later.  I have always told my players as well as kids, “Failures and Success doesn’t define you; it is how you react to the failures and successes that makes you the person you hope to become.”  We can use every situation as an opportunity to teach our kids.  We can use it as motivation to help with future opportunities.  If we are patient and look at the whole picture of life, we might be better off.

Life is not always fair.  Neither is softball.  However, how you react to these situations will determine your future and with that; you will be happy more times than not.

For more information about the Texas Travelers Girls Select Softball Team contact Coach Kyle Bennett at 972.679.7702 or visit their Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/04-Texas-Travelers/774587365960430.

Hayeli Acosta Throwback Thursday Softball Spotlight

Hayeli’s first T-Ball game was in 2008 when she was 4-years old.  She played for the Mesquite Bears.  Her parents were not sure if she would like the game, but they are sure glad that she did, explains Yolanda Acosta- Hayeli’s mom.  If you ask her about having a pink glove, she’ll say “I never had a pink glove, I don’t even like the color pink!” However, we have proof, don’t we?

Today, Hayeli plays centerfield and catcher for the Texas Travelers Select Softball Team.  She can be seen controlling the outfield making outstanding catches for her team.

The 04 Texas Travelers organization exists for the specific purpose of developing a competitive youth fast-pitch softball program whose goals are to develop players capable of competing at the highest levels in the country with the demonstrated skills necessary to earn a college scholarship. Our dedicated coaches and volunteer staff facilitate our athlete’s growth by conducting challenging practices and scheduling the highest level of competitive activity available. However, reaching these goals must be accomplished within the proper framework by instilling character, self-esteem, confidence and sportsmanship with the young athlete.

Achievement of these lofty and worthwhile objectives within the appropriate environment can only be reached through the mature behavior and exemplary conduct of the coaches and parents of the Club. Their relationship with the players must be of the highest ethical and moral standards and be based upon concern and just principles that ensure equitable treatment will prevail in all circumstances.

An aggressive desire for victory combined with the procedural and graduated development of softball skills through exceptional coaching and advanced training techniques is of paramount importance. Nevertheless, everyone should realize that, fast-pitch softball is only a game and is the forum we use to help our athletes mature into responsible adults.

The 04 Texas Travelers play ASA Softball, and plan to compete in ASA Nationals for 2015. The strong North Texas Softball Club has won at IFA-VTD, USSSA, and ASA levels and continues its push to become the 2015 ASA National Champion held in Normal, Illinois. In addition to playing in the ASA National Tourney; the Texas Travelers will also play in each of the national Qualifier Texas Challenge Series, and the Hall of Fame Softball Tournament in Oklahoma City. The team is a fully funded endorsed softball team that intends on continuing its great success in the softball world.

For more information about the 04 Texas Travelers contact Coach Kyle Bennett at 972.679.7702 or follow The Texas Travelers on Facebook.  The Texas Travelers are a 10 U 2004 team that plays ASA competitive softball.  To follow particular players, games, practices or see any other information about the North Texas Select Softball team visit: 04 Texas Travelers News Site.

ASA Spring Texas Challenge Series Stage 1 DFW Qualifier

Mesquite Fastpitch Softball Association will host the 2015 ASA/USA Spring Texas Challenge Series Stage 1 tournament March 28th and 29th.  There are 125 teams competing in 10U, 12U and 14U girls’ fastpitch select softball.  Teams all over Texas will be competing to earn the right to qualify for the 2015 ASA National Championships held in Normal, Illinois in late July of this year.

The Texas Travelers will be competing in a 4 Pool division on Saturday and then single elimination bracket play on Sunday.  En Fuego, Texas Stealth, Direct TV Genies 04, and Texas Sudden Impact are each slotted to play the Texas Travelers in Pool play.  04 Texas Glory, 04 Glory Blue, 04 Texas Shock, Diamond Sports Hotshots Gold, Mizuno Impulse, MoJo Ultimate, Texas Bombers 04 STX, Texas Reign 05, Texas Stealth, Waco Heat and WTX Pride will also be competing in the 10U A division against the Texas Travelers.

It has been a tough past 5 weeks with many of the tournaments getting rained or snowed out, but the weather is looking great in North Texas for this week with a chance for showers on Thursday.  The Texas Travelers are looking forward to getting on the diamond after working hard in the cages and on the football field with their strength and agility coach the past month.

Less than a week away, fans will get a chance to see one of the most talked about North Texas Girls Softball Teams.  They look very strong at the plate, on the mound and in the field.  However, the true test will come at 8:00 AM Saturday morning when the Texas Travelers take on En Fuego out of San Antonio, Texas.

The Texas Travelers Schedule starts with En Fuego at 8 AM, Texas Stealth 12:30 PM (Houston), Direct TV Genies 04 2:00 PM (Austin) and Texas Sudden Impact (Houston) at 6:30 PM.  Sunday’s single elimination bracket play will begin at 8 AM with the championship game starting at 2:00 PM.

For more information about the 04 Texas Travelers contact Coach Kyle Bennett at 972.679.7702 or follow The Texas Travelers on Facebook.  The Texas Travelers are a 10 U 2004 team that plays ASA competitive softball.  To follow particular players, games, practices or see any other information about the North Texas Select Softball team visit: 04 Texas Travelers News Site.